Love is supposed to be effortless right? When you fall in love, start dating, decide to get married and start a life together, it's pretty easy to look at the other person you are sharing your life with and get all twitterpated about them.. you put in all sorts of effort to make sure everything is wonderful.
But with that journey you're embarking on also comes real life. There are all the things you have in common, but there are many things that make you an individual, subtle or not to subtle differences about one another, you grow as a couple and you continue to grow as an individual. Then you decide to start a family and have kids (then you become a under-caffeinated version of a human being with baby spit up on your clothes and sweet potato in your hair and figure you should try out as a zombie for the walking dead.. JUST KIDDING!!)
Where I'm going with all this is that its easy to forget yourself, let alone forget that you are sharing in this crazy roller-coaster ride with another person! Kids always come first for us, but taking a minute or two to do a little something for each other makes everyone's day a little brighter and can make you feel a little more connected with life is nothing but disarray.
Valentine's day can put on the pressure, so that's why this post comes after the fact. Showing that special someone that you love them, and putting emphasis on continuing to build that foundation together should be something you do on a regular basis, not just one day of the year. It doesn't have to cost money, doesn't require a babysitter. It's the little things that go the furthest. So here's my list of no-cost ways to show that special someone that you love them and are thinking of them.
- Pick them up their favorite beverage or treat or a simple bouquet of flowers randomly. Surprise them.
- Really listen to them when they're talking. Put your phone far away.
- Learn to care about something they care a lot about.
- Sit next to them as often as possible. At the dinner table, on the couch, in the restaurant booth, etc.
- Keep a running list on your phone of things they express great interest in or say they want. It makes for amazing holidays (or just because moments) when you have that kind of for-thought.
- Sincerely express your thanks for things they do for you.
- Brag about them when they can hear. Show them you're proud of them.
- Get up with the kids (if you have them) and whisk them away so he/she can sleep in.
- Get yourself ready just to be at home with them. Do your hair, or spray on their favorite scent, etc.
- Do something around the house that is normally only their 'job' or chore.
- Hold their hand as often as possible. In the car, in the store, at the table, etc.
- Send them off unexpectedly to get a massage or a pedicure, or some other type of special treat.
- Be the first to apologize.
- If you can and want to, set up a babysitter for a standing weekly date-night - and just get outside together.
- Stick up for their choices and actions to others, especially family and friends.
- Give them that perfect bite of your steak or your piece of pie, the first spoonful of your ice cream :)
- Ask them about their dreams and desires. Dig deep and really pay attention
- Backrubs and foot rubs are always a good idea.
- Play the newlywed game. Find lists of questions online and learn more about one another.
- Sit and talk with or help them while they do a chore, cook a dish, change a tire, etc.
- Smile at them whenever you catch their eye.
- Get their car detailed.
- Grab their hand and pull them into a slow dance. In the kitchen is always romantic:)
- Make something meaningful for them such as a photo book, a framed letter, a special mix CD or playlist, etc.
- Send them texts randomly through the day saying sweet, funny, or encouraging things.
- Pick old photos from the beginning of your relationship and compile them in a frame or collage.
- Tell them about the moment you knew they had won your heart.
- Put their needs ahead of your own as often as you can manage it.
- Leave little notes in places they'll find them. Sticky notes in the car, lipstick on the mirror, etc.
- Randomly share with them traits or talents of theirs that you adore.
